Your Brain is Playing Tricks on You

I was recently enjoying my evening wind down by watching prank videos on Instagram and came across a hot water boiling prank. While normally I just get my laughs (sometimes again, again, and again LOL) and keep scrolling; This one made a light bulb go off and I started thinking about how our brain plays tricks on us. 

If you haven't seen it, it’s basically a prank where one person pretends to spill hot water from a kettle onto the person they are pouring tea for. The reactions are quite hysterical. And - really dramatic for it being just normal tap water that was poured. LOL. Their brain went full on panic mode and that’s what got me thinking, “Our brain does this all the time.” 

The brain is constantly trying to predict what’s next. And sometimes, those predictions can trigger such a strong response that we react to a possibility as if it were already reality.

Read that again - We react to a possibility as if it were already reality. 

What is happening in the Brain?

The brain continuously combines sensory information with predictions, context, expectations, and prior experience to determine whether something should be experienced as painful. The amygdala, insula, anterior cingulate cortex (ACC), hypothalamus, and brainstem defensive systems can become engaged by the anticipated threat.

A useful simplified model is:

Threat/prediction → brain expects pain → defensive response begins → sensation is interpreted through that expectation

So if someone becomes convinced that something painful is about to happen, their nervous system can begin producing a very real pain/threat response before any tissue damage occurs.

Here is where it gets interesting:

This same basic architecture operates outside of obvious physical threats, it extends into our everyday lives.

The brain doesn't just predict, "I'm about to be burned."

It predicts:

• "I'm about to be rejected."

• "I'm going to embarrass myself."

• "I'm going to fail."

• "They're going to judge me."

• "This is going to be uncomfortable."

• "I won't know what to say."

• "I'll regret doing this."

• "I might lose control."

• "This is unfamiliar, therefore dangerous."

And the body can respond to those predictions before the person has consciously decided anything. That is one way to understand what we call an avoidance response.

This is where it gets tricky…

Unknowingly, and unwantingly we reinforce this avoidant response. 

Let's say you have an opportunity that scares you. You predict -

"This will be uncomfortable."

So…. 

You avoid it → Your anxiety drops →That feels good.

Your brain therefore gets a very powerful learning signal, “Avoiding that situation made the threat go away.”

So the next time the situation appears, your brain may produce an even stronger warning. And now the cycle looks like:

Opportunity → Prediction of discomfort/threat → Anxiety / physiological arousal → Avoidance → Immediate relief → Brain learns: avoidance = safety → Stronger prediction next time

I know what you’re thinking, “Yikes” and I’m right there with you! But luckily, we have the power to change this! 

Here’s how to begin recalibrating this response so you’re not missing out on awesome people, experiences, and opportunities. 

1. Start asking questions. 

The next time you feel that instinct to retreat from something you want, pause for a moment. Ask yourself, 

“What is my brain predicting will happen if I do this?” Maybe it’s predicting embarrassment, rejection, failure, feeling uncomfortable etc. That question creates a little space between the prediction and the action.

Then ask, 

“Do I actually know that will happen or is my brain trying to protect me from a possibility?” That tiny distinction can change the way you relate to fear.

2. Do it scared

I know, I know. The thought alone seems impossible, but trust me here. You have to give your brain new information. Through experience. Does this mean that if you’re afraid of public speaking you’re going to aim to do a Ted Talk? No. However, you could set the goal of speaking up in a meeting. Even if your voice shakes, even if you tell yourself it’s a stupid question. 

That fear you feel is your brain predicting all of the ‘terrible’ things that will happen if you do. When you do it anyway, even if it truly was uncomfortable, your brain picks up on something useful - ‘this was uncomfortable, but it was not unsafe and… we didn’t die’. 

It realizes its prediction error and stores that information for recalibration. The more times you do this the faster and more accurately the brain can update its predictive software. 

This stuff is fascinating (and by stuff I mean US humans)! I hope you found this helpful. And if you’d like to go deeper, I invite you to schedule a free consultation call with me. We will look at one of your current predictive narratives that isn’t working for you and explore if The Chrysalis Method is right for you. 

In Light ✨

Vivian